positive parenting tips

What Makes A Good Parent?

You’re in the right place if at this moment you’re thinking about the hardships that may come with raising kids, but no matter how hard it can get, you just want to be good for them so that they grow up to be fine young men and women.

 

Parenting is indeed hard, but don’t put so much pressure on yourself trying to be the perfect parent out there. We pretty much know that no one’s perfect, but together, as parents, let’s drive and work hard to be the best version of ourselves so we can raise our children better. So, what skills does a parent need to work on to be good and have effective parenting? Here are five helpful tips for you!

 

  1. Be a good role model

 

It’s been studied that humans are considered special species, we imitate others’ actions to understand people better, and we also incorporate them to ourselves. This should not come as a surprise because as our child is growing up, they spend most of their time together with us in our own houses, so they see most of our actions and listen to what we say.

 

Children, in particular, are very keen to observe their parents. This is why you should always be careful of what you do and say around your child because they can quickly just learn and manifest them as they grow. Now, if you want your child to be well-mannered, empathetic, kind, and whatever good traits there are, you, yourself as a parent and a role model must possess and show these traits first.

 

  1. Be your child’s haven

 

There’s nothing better in this world than the warm connection and a strong sense of security between parents and their child. It is highly recommended for you, as a parent, to be always there for your child, to be responsive to their needs. Research by Lee Raby in 2014 showed that children who grew up feeling safe with their parents have a better performance in school. These children also go on to adulthood, having better relationships with others.

 

Now? How can you let your child know you have a safe space for them? One thing is to show them constant affection, support them with what they want, acknowledge, and listen to how they feel, be approachable, dependable, and trustworthy. There’s a lot of ways you can make your child feel that you’re always there for them, what you should take note with is to be just consistent.

 

  1. Practice positive discipline

parenting tools

Kids or young children, as we all know, are very active, and most of the time, they can barely behave, right? And they have more room for making mistakes as they explore more in daily life. This is when you, as a parent, take action to discipline your child. Now, when we say discipline, it is not synonymous with punishments like the really heavy ones that the young child cannot fully process yet as this might affect them both psychologically and socially as they grow up.

 

Discipline is one of the best things you can teach your child as it allows them to grow with a sense of accountability and responsibility. Your child won’t grow as someone spoiled and ungrateful.

 

However, disciplining a child can be stressful, and things can sometimes get out of hand. This is where practicing positive discipline comes in wherein you focus more on learning for the future rather than punishing them for what’s already done. To achieve this, you must understand the reasons behind their actions, and you should be kind and gentle but firm to them when enforcing rules.

 

  1. Teach them to view challenges positively

 

It’s like getting your child ready for a battle. It is undeniable that there are a lot of challenges that one person can encounter as he or she is growing up. Some problems can get really strong that sometimes we just feel hopeless. That is why it is just as crucial that you, as the parent, are there for your child whenever they are facing a challenge to help them view it more positively.

 

In 2014, psychologist Carol Dweck’s study showed that people who view obstacles more positively are far more likely to be successful than those who don’t. To be a good parent means helping and pushing the child not to let challenges get in the way but instead making it be something to motivate them. It is also teaching them that in difficulties, there’s more to learn that we can certainly use as long as we are alive.

 

  1. Teach them to help others

 

Naturally, humans are self-centered. In social psychologist Lara Aknin’s research in 2012, it showed that once we overcome our selfish nature and also look out for the needs of others, we become happier when we lend a hand.

teaching kids to care and help

So, if you want your child to grow up and live to be a more joyful and fulfilling life, it is better that you start teaching them on serving others and contributing something as a member of society. Also, you can involve your child in activities where they get to make a positive impact. In this way, your child can have a more meaningful life in the future.

 

Conclusion

 

I hope the moment you read this, and up to now, you are still committed to living a good life to be a good parent and raise some good kids. You might not see the results right then and there, but it’ll surprise you just how decent your kid could be if you’re consistent on being a good parent.

 

parenting styles and effects

A Guide to Parenting Styles

The moment we think of raising a child from birth to adulthood, we all want nothing but the best for them and for us to be the parents they deserve. As the whole family lives under one roof, parents are considered to be the first teachers of their own children. It might feel like a massive and much work to do, considering all the conflicts you’ll encounter along the way. Still, when you already know important tips and guidelines you learned from your parents or others, you’ll soon realize it’s not as hard as it is!

 

Realistically speaking, there is no one right way of raising a child. Each of us parents has different personalities and lives with values and beliefs that others may not have, so there is no way of putting that we must adhere to one type of parenting style only. In fact, others choose to mix and match various parenting styles depending on what is essential to the family and for the child.

 

While there have been three broader categories (authoritarian, permissive, authoritative) of parenting styles introduced by Diana Baumrind, researchers continue to study them on a more specific level. Here are some parenting styles studied by researchers that may be of great help for you and your journey as a parent.

 

  • Elephant Parenting

 

First in our list is where parents are more flexible to the choices of their children rather than imposing strict and definitive rules that need to be followed, which is also coined as elephant parenting. If you like to practice this style, you must prioritize nurturing, loving, and encouraging your child, especially in their few first years. There’s not much independence to this parenting style as elephant mothers always tend to their children’s needs.

 

While this style of parenting includes letting kids be kids and giving them the freedom and opportunity to be who they want, it can also make you being overly permissive, and your children can be so much dependent on you. Still, it focuses on spiritual growth, emotional connection with others rather than pushing your child to achieve academic excellence and forcing them to be someone they don’t want to be.

 

  • Tiger Parenting

 

Tiger parenting centers in the authoritative category where parents imply strict rules and create limits and boundaries to their children. They also emphasize the excellence of their child in various fields such as music, academics, and sports. Also, there are quite a few tiger parents who even discourage social activities such as going out with friends.

 

While this may work for others in developing their child to reach higher places and grow to be an achiever, the harsh realities and regimen of this style can lead to some problems of the child’s psychological state, which may turn out worse if not given attention right away. The reason why this style still exists today is that other parents measure their success in parenting by counting how much achievements their child has obtained with their ways of child-rearing.

 

  • Dolphin Parenting

 

Last, but not the end of different parenting styles is a mix of the two approaches mentioned above. Just like life, parenting itself needs a lot of balancing – between independence and rules, work, and play. This is where dolphin parenting, where there’s a hint of both authoritative and permissive, comes to the picture. As introduced by psychiatrist and author Dr. Shimi Kang, she defined it with the acronym POD, P as “play and exploration,” O as “others” to reflect, and D as “downtime” which includes regular activities such as sleeping and exercise.

parenting tips

Parents who practice this style take an authoritative personality, but with a bit of playful part. Dolphin parents tend to collaborate with their children, nurture the spiritual aspect, not forgetting about individual passions and independence while still being firm yet flexible. This style is excellent for upbringing your children to have a well-balanced life filled with a real connection and purpose while still being independent and with a sense of authority.

 

Conclusion

 

These are only some of the parenting styles, and yes, we all know that parenting doesn’t come with a manual, but I hope this still helps you as a guide to your journey of raising a child. The most important thing to remember, though, is to do what’s best for your child, for yourself, and always attend to their needs and adapt to changes.